ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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