That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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