this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize