Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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