just survived the first fart of the relationship.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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