Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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