You don't have asthma, your pregnant
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
love makes seman taste better
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
