I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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