you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize