YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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