every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize