Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just gift wrapped bread.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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