ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
