It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
