Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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