my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
my sisters under your porch take her home
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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