You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
