I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
