hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
