So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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