I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
