just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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