i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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