You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
