You're completely useless in the revolution.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.