tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head