We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here