party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you inspire me to be a worse person
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
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Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night