at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.