i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
