how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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