can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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