come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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