At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."