is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa