in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
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She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"