im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got inside last night via doggy door
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter