brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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