I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
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