her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
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I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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