3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she pinky promised me she was 18
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize