So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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