I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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