Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
