my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
