Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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