I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
