mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
3 2 1 whiskey
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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