hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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