she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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