I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
