If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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