i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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