hotel room ftw
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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