it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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