i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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