I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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