My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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