Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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