but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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