is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
