Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

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(702): View more from Nevada

grinding to god bless the USA? really?

(860): View more from Connecticut

shut up

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(818): View more from California

So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?

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(315): View more from New York

so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese

(315): View more from New York

here comes the puke

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?

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(708): View more from Illinois

Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.

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(817): View more from Texas

I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.

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