I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
