I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
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Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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