1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize