Best friends brother. Beat that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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