His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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