Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
