You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
