Me too!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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