Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my shit smells like andre
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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